BREAKING: James Hird Resigns

And in breaking news, James Hird has joined coaches like Brendan McCartney in resigning because they were about to get sacked by the board.

Hird leaves the Essendope Drug Cheats Essendon Bombers after they lost by 112 points to the Crows, somehow managing to lose by more than Melbourne did to the Western Bulldogs.

His departure was never in any real doubt after Essendopen had won three games since Anzac day. But, since those games included a 2-point win against St Kilda (who would then go on to win by 110 later in the season), a 9-point win against Melbourne, and a win against Brisbane, none of them really count.

Hird has admitted that some decisions made in 2011 were mistakes, like inviting Steven Dank to the club, taking over as coach, and the entire supplement saga.

WADA will now have a much easier job in the appeal, as James Hird’s evidence was more or less the only thing stopping them from getting all of the Dopers Bombers players banned for two years.

Seeing as no-one will want to apply for the coaching job, Dustin Fletcher will take over for the indefinite future.

Actually, scratch that. I might apply. I can hardly do a worse job than Hird did.

#putoutyourpeptides

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